Duke Hires Coach K’s Unknown Son

Posted: February 13, 2011 by tconaway in Parody
Tags: , , , ,

In a shocking turn of events, the defending National Champion Duke Blue Devils have hired Head Coach Mike Krzyzewski’s son, Mick. The announcement was made after the Blue Devils’ win against North Carolina State. Mick made his coaching debut against the North Carolina Tar Heels on Wednesday.

Mike and Mick Krzyzewski coaching agaisnt North Carolina

Once Mike found out he had an unknown son, he knew he had to be added to his coaching staff.

“Listen, any part of me that is on this planet, is destined for coaching greatness,” Mike said after the win against UNC. “I know Mick will be as great of a coach as I am one day, so we had to have him on board for the rest of our season.”

The coaching hire is raising some eyebrows in Durham though, and not everybody is pleased with the new coach. This is probably due to Mick’s lack of coaching experience and knowledge. Before being hired by Duke, Mick was working as a sanitation worker in Charlotte.

“I was either going to be picking up garbage or acting like I know how to coach for the Duke Blue Devils,” Mick said in an interview yesterday. “This pays a lot better, so the choice was obvious.”

Research has shown that Mick has never played high school or college basketball, and has never coached a game. His last known basketball game is believed to be when he was 11 years old, when he played for the Cheetahs in the Charlotte Boys and Girls Club summer league. With the Cheetahs, he averages 0.4 points per game and -4 rebounds per game. He was voted Least Valuable Player by the coaches of the CBGC.

Mike does not seem concerned. “I am one of the best coaches of all time. I know Mick doesn’t have many accolades, but if he came from me, he is destined for great things.”

Mick just seems to be happy that he’s not picking up garbage anymore. “I love being apart of the Blue Devils family. Yesterday I was picking up used diapers and banana peels, today I am making over $100,000 for being a coach’s son.”

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